If you think that Kentucky is the horse capital of the U.S., think again. According to the American Horse Council, there are 979,000 horses in Texas and the state’s horse industry produces goods and services valued at $3.0 billion. California is second only to Texas with a horse population of 698,000, followed by Florida with 500,000, Oklahoma with 326,000, then Kentucky with 320,000.

Texans and those who visit the Lone Star State for annual horse events like the NCHA Futurity might relate to comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s checklist and suggestions for travel:

  • If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you might live in Texas.
  • If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Texas.
  • If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Texas.
  • If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Texas.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Texas.
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody s passing you, you might live in Texas.
  • If you find 60 degrees “a little chilly,” you might live in Texas.

Need a vacation? Here is a list of actual places to visit in Texas:

Need to be cheered up? Happy, TX 79042; Pep, TX 79353; Smiley, TX 78159; Paradise, TX 76073; Rainbow, TX 76077; Sweet Home, TX 77987; Comfort, TX 78013; Friendship, TX 76530.

Want something to eat? Bacon, TX 76301; Noodle, TX 79536; Oatmeal, TX 78605; Turkey, TX 79261; Trout, TX 75789; Sugar Land, TX 77479; Salty, TX 76567; Rice, TX 75155; and top it off with Sweetwater, TX 79556.

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all. Detroit, TX 75436; Colorado City, TX 79512; Denver City, TX 79323; Nevada, TX 75173; Memphis, TX 79245; Miami, TX 79059; Boston, TX 75570; Santa Fe, TX 77517; Tennessee Colony, TX 75861; Reno, TX 75462.

Feel like traveling outside the country? Don’t bother buying a plane ticket. Athens, TX 75751; Canadian, TX 79014; China, TX 77613; Egypt, TX 77436; Turkey, TX 79261; London, TX 76854; New London, TX 75682; Paris, TX 75460.

Exhausted? Energy, TX 76452. Cold? Blanket, TX 76432 and Winters, TX 79567. Undecided? Uncertain, TX 75661.

For the kids try Kermit, TX 79745; Elmo, TX 75118; Nemo, TX 76070; Tarzan, TX 79783; Winnie, TX 77665; Sylvester, TX 79560.

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile: Frognot, TX 75424; Bigfoot, TX 78005; Hogeye, TX 75423; Cactus, TX 79013; Notrees, TX 79759; Best, TX 76932; Veribest, TX 76886; Kickapoo, TX 75763; Dime Box, TX; Telephone, TX 75488; Telegraph, TX 76883; Whiteface, TX 79379; Twitty, TX 79079; Muleshoe, TX 79347; Cut And Shoot, TX 77303.

And of course, there is a place in Texas that isn’t. Knott, Texas.